Monday, December 31, 2012

Top 20 J-Pop Songs of 2012

By now you should know that I listen to a lot of artists. Lmao who am I trying to kid? But as far as I know, even though the Oricon Top 10 singles this year hit an all-time pathetic, it was still a pretty eventful year, and the songs released in 2012 were pretty good.

So here's my Top 20 J-Pop Songs of 2012 before we welcome 2013, another year of AKB48 ridiculousness and ayumi hamasaki's further efforts to revive her career.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

[New Release] ayumi hamasaki - LOVE again


ayumi hotmessaki really knows how to make a fandom burn. For the first time ever, the peeps over at the AHS forums actually made an accurate prediction -- except it was a joke that wasn't really supposed to happen. You'd think it's bad enough she re-used a mini-album cover for a classical album cover, but bitch be keepin' them surprises coming. After all, ayumi hamasaki always tries new things! Releasing singles as mini-albums (never done by her before!!) and now putting mini-albums into full-length albums (also never done by her before!!). This Queen of J-Flop has more copies of Koda Kumi's TRICK up her and Maro's sleeves than you may think.

63rd Kouhaku Performers' List - Angela Aki be MAD

Red Team
  1. aiko – “Kuchibiru”
  2. ayaka – “Hajimari no Toki”
  3. Ikimonogakari – “Kaze ga Fuiteiru”
  4. Ishikawa Sayuri – “Amagi Goe”
  5. AKB48 – “AKB48 Kohaku 2012 SP Dai 2-sho”
  6. SKE48 – “Pareo wa Emerald”
  7. Kyary Pamyu Pamyu – “Kohaku 2012 Kyary Pamyu Pamyu Medley”
  8. Koizai Kaori – “Sake no Yado”
  9. Koda Kumi – “Go to the top”
  10. Godai Natsuko – “Koi Zange”
  11. Sakamoto Fuyumi – “Yozakura Oshichi”
  12. Tendo Yoshimi – “Soran Matsuri Bushi”
  13. Mika Nakashima – “Hatsukoi”
  14. Nishino Kana – “GO FOR IT!!”
  15. Perfume – “Spring of Life”
  16. ayumi hamasaki – “2012 A SPECIAL Medley”
  17. Fuji Ayako – “Wasurenai”
  18. Princess Princess – “Diamonds”
  19. Nana Mizuki – “BRIGHT STREAM”
  20. Mizumori Kaori – “Hitori Nagaragawa”
  21. Momoiro Clover Z – “Momoiro Kohaku Da Z!!”
  22. YUI – “Good-bye days”
  23. YUKI – “Prism”
  24. Yuki Saori – “Yoake no Scat”
  25. Wada Akiko – “Ai, Todokimasuka”
White Team
  1. Arashi – “New Year’s Eve Medley 2012″
  2. Itsuki Hiroshi – “Yoake no Blues”
  3. HY – “Ichiban Chikaku ni”
  4. EXILE – “Rising Sun”
  5. NYC – “NYC Kohaku Medley”
  6. Kanjani 8 – “Hatsu Kohaku!! Zenryoku Zenshin Jya Jya Jya Jya-n!”
  7. Kitajima Saburo – “Fusetsu Nagare Tabi”
  8. Hiromi Go – “Dangerer☆”
  9. Golden Bomber – “Memeshikute”
  10. Kobukuro – “Kami Hikouki”
  11. Saito Kazuyoshi – “Yasashiku Naritai”
  12. Sandaime J Soul Brothers – “Hanabi”
  13. SMAP – “SMAP 2012′ SP”
  14. Tachi Hiroshi – “Arashi wo Yobu Otoko”
  15. TOKIO – “KIBOU”
  16. Tokunaga Hideaki – “Ue wo Muite Arukou”
  17. AAA – “777 ~We can sing a song!~”
  18. Naoto Inti Raymi – “Brave”
  19. Hikawa Kiyoshi – “Sakura”
  20. FUNKY MONKEY BABYS – “Sayonara Janai”
  21. Fukuyama Masaharu – “Beautiful life”
  22. Hosokawa Takashi – “Naniwabushi Dayo Jinsei wa”
  23. Porno Graffitti – “Kageboushi”
  24. Miwa Akihiro – “Yoitomake no Uta”
  25. Mori Shinichi – “Fuyu no Riviera”

Meh, nothing really exciting to look forward to this year, but I'm gonna be pissed mad if Angela Aki's absence is because of her not receiving an invitation. Bitch got a TV show earlier that year on the same TV station but doesn't get to perform on Kouhaku? Incredulous. Plus while SONGBOOK flopped, you gotta admit that was some pretty good shit. 

Of course, ayumi hotmessaki will be opening the show once again for the 10000th year in a row so yay for her. I'm looking forward to this special medley (first time for her) but it'll most likely be full of her older hits since she doesn't even need to announce it to know that A BEST 3 will be coming our way soon. I'm hoping for at least Song 4 u and Wake me up to be included but let's just say she's more likely to sing SURREAL / M / evolution / Boys & Girls / etc. etc. 

The theme for this year is Uta de Aitai, which crudely means "meet with song", but nobody likes to be greeted with ayumi hotmessaki's vibrato, and neither does anybody like to be greeted with YUI's voice coupled with her perpetually constipated singing face. I'm telling you, gurl's secretly an attention whore.  "Oh hey guys since I'm going for my second hiatus I never know when I'm coming back (i.e. in 6 months) so I've decided to attend Kouhaku for the first time eva!!!"

I'm also looking forward to MISIA's performance that will be shown live from some African desert. I would've preferred to see Kuu performing Koishikute (Or even a medley with both singles this year) but oh well. Hopefully the red team wins this year again like last year, especially now that they have AKB48 and shit. 

[New Release + Digest] Mika Nakashima - REAL


Mika Nakashima is giving us some Lady Gaga The Fame Monster wig realness in the covers for her upcoming album REAL. I don't think they're particularly amazing but she does look really pretty there. It's also the first time she's using 2 different covers again since YES that is not simply one of her opening her eyes and closing in the other. Speaking of which, I still can't get over the hideousness of her VOICE covers. She essentially looks like an aerobics student who got lost in the woods halfway through and is trying to hear the aerobics music to find her way back.

But much like VOICE, as you would hear in the digest later below, the album tracks for REAL sound very reminiscent of VOICE's - gentle, easy listening, etc. It doesn't really hit you HARD from what I've heard so far, and even the most rock-influenced album track, PASSION, in the digest doesn't really stand out. 

Nonetheless, this is the kind of music that Mika has always been giving us and I'm looking forward to this album as a whole. I don't see it being as good / better than STAR from what's available so far, but who wouldn't like to be proven wrong? Well, everybody, but you know what I mean. I kinda stopped caring after LOVE IS ECSTASY came out because of all the snooze-worthy singles that came after that. I have read somewhere that she's still having a tough time vocally after that ear incident so I hope she further recovers as her nationwide tour in 2013 looms nearer.

REAL will be released on 30th January 2013.
CD Tracklist
  1. Hatsukoi (初恋)
  2. DEAR
  3. Ashita Sekai ga Owaru Nara (明日世界が終わるなら)
  5. You Knocked Me Out
  7. BE REAL
  10. Pierce (ピアス)
  11. Kioku (記憶) - how original after you have a song titled MEMORY
  12. Epilogue (エピローグ)
  13. LETTER
DVD Tracklist
  1. DEAR (Music Video)
  2. LOVE IS ECSTASY (Music Video)
  3. Ashita Sekai ga Owaru Nara (Music Video)
  4. Hatsukoi (Music Video)

Saturday, December 22, 2012

[CD Packaging] ayumi hamasaki - again

I just received my copy yesterday probably due to the Christmas rush or something. Urgh but yay

Once ~*again*~ it's packaged in a thicker 2CD jewel case just like LOVE.

Ayu subtly acknowledging her fans with foot fetishes

And yea, basically boring shit like that. The disc art itself is sleep-inducing.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Music Station Super Live 2012: Guess who's NOT invited?

Here is this year's line-up for Music Station Super Live 2012!

Oh look! Hamasaki Ayumi-san ish no inviteto thissu year desu! Rooks like after her no-show last year because she didn't buy a return ticket early enough, Tamori-san has had it! We get more impatient as we get older after all, can't blame it all on him. Either that or she simply decided she's going to have sex with Maro all day that night just in case the world really ends on that day.
  1. aiko
  2. ayaka
  4. Ikimono Gakari
  5. AKB48
  6. EXILE
  7. KAT-TUN
  8. Kanjani8
  9. Kis-My-Ft2
  10. Kyary Pamyu Pamyu
  11. KinKi Kids
  12. Kuwata Keisuke
  13. Koda Kumi
  14. Kobukuro
  15. JUJU
  16. Superfly
  17. SMAP
  19. Sonar Pocket
  20. TOKIO
  21. Nishino Kana
  22. Perfume
  23. B'z
  25. Fukuyama Masaharu
  26. Princess Princess
  27. Hey! Say! JUMP
  28. Porno Graffiti
  29. Mr.Children
  30. Momoiro Clover Z
  31. YUI
  32. YUKI
  33. Yuzu
  34. L'Arc~en~Ciel
  35. Ling Tosite Sigure
If I even live on the next day to torrent the show, I'm looking forward to ayaka, Kuu, Superfly and Perfume! Meh, that's not a lot of performers to look forward to, but still.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

[New Release] ayumi hamasaki - A Classical

Talk about an overkill. Ayu is about to fall into Nicki Minaj territory where they both seem to use one picture for every single shit they do over the course of a few months. Like I mentioned in the post before this, they were probably rushing to wrap up this release after Ayu was so depressed with her sales that she decided not to record new material for the third release. Max Matsuura probably then decided to pick the first guy he sees down the street to draw Ayu's LOVE cover for this release.

It would have probably saved more time and money just to have a gold A symbol surrounded by fancy shit like in MY STORY Classical, and I can guarantee better reception from fans as well. Win-win situation! Ayu's team really needs to get their shit together. This is A Classical. Not LOVE Classical. Heck, even a picture of Ayu sketched naked while totally wasted, lying down in a bathtub filled with booze would be better because it pretty much encapsulates the entire course of her career.

Wait till I talk about the tracklist. I don't even know what to say. First of all, we are getting 10 songs for the price of 3200yen. Have they not gotten a clue from LOVE and again's sales that overcharging ain't cool? Secondly, Ayu is now falling into Every Little Thing category as well because for every "compilation" album they do, they include their biggest hits in it, and now Ayu is doing the exact same thing. SEASONS. M. Voyage. Oh thank god, at least evolution isn't on it. And on top of that, they even added 3 new songs she did this year. You & Me? Seriously? *orchestra in the background* OHHHH FRILAY NIIITE!

Of course, this tracklist had 7/10 songs voted by TeamAyu. Of course this was going to be a predictable tracklist. Because using avex logic, while asking "What is the Ayu song you most want to hear in classical form?" for A Classical may seem too obvious, asking "What is your favourite Ayu song" for A SUMMER BEST was totally not obvious. I get it, I get it.

Alright I'll stop being such a bitch. I'll admit that I'm looking forward to hearing those songs anyway. I really enjoyed MY STORY Classical, and likewise I hope this doesn't disappoint.

A Classical will be released on 8 January 2012.
CD Tracklist
  1. M
  2. Love song
  4. You & Me
  6. Days
  7. Voyage
  8. Song 4 u
  9. Missing
  10. Dearest

Also, since everyone and I included hate the cover, I've decided to take matters in my own hands and do up my own version of the cover which I think uses a more appropriate image that definitely puts the Classic in A Classical. Or Ass, if you will.

What can I say, avex needs to hire me asap. You're welcome, everybody, and Merry Christmas!

Oh noes! ayumi evenmoresucky on Oricon!

The Mayans were right. The world is coming to an end this 2012. We are all gathered here today to mourn the passing of something that might have gone a little sooner than it thought. Its final remnants did not even reach the Top 3 of the Oricon album charts, and that is with 3 more releases coming up within the next 3 months. Rest in peace, ayumi hamasaki's career.

Looks like our lonely parlee queen won't even need to wake herself up no more because she won't even be able to go to sleep for the next few days on end. Bitch got so depressed, she cancelled what could be a third mini-album and called for a new classical album instead while she wallows in self-pity in the corner of the PV set for Namie's Damage. I can already hear her team shouting to one another, "Cancel the scheduled photoshoot! Call up some random guy to draw a picture of her LOVE cover for the classical album!"

LOVE getting #4 wasn't exactly that bad. But again getting #7 and having such a huge sales decrease just 1 month later means something is wrong here. It doesn't even matter if the release only sold for 3 days of the first week because it's not like it'd even make much of a sales difference anyway. Maro be killin' her image bitchezzzz

I'm already so tired of this whole Maro thing. Nothing can bore and/or irritate audiences more than shoving your new boyfriend into everybody's faces ranging from album shoot to music video TRILOGY AGAIN (oh lord save us) and most probably to the upcoming tour as well. Now tell me who's going to bother to pick that shit off from shelves when, thanks to the media, EVERYONE knows that it's him on the cover? Somewhere in the Johny's Entertainment offices Nagase Tomoya is sniggering, glad that he wasn't part of any of this shit when he was with her.

ayumi hamasaki sings to a plant in a music video and everyone is bored. Namie Amuro sings underneath a tree during her dome tour and everyone is RAVING about that tree. Speaking of predictable flops, looks like YUI isn't doing too fantastically either. Then again, I've never seen her as a relevant figure in the industry. "Oh hey guys I'm gonna take a second hiatus that'll probably last around 6 seconds again, see if you'll miss me this time!" ok bye

[Music Video] Namie Amuro - Damage

Now we know what happened to the budget that avex didn't give ayumi hotmessaki. Namie is already promoting this ~*digital single*~ in proportions more than Ayu would give for her 5-months-5-release nonsense.

Sure it looks like a more high-budgeted, better version of Break It with dance moves she's done a thousand times before, but this shit looks good. And for a 35-year-old woman, Namie looks as badass as those text effects I did in the image above. God dammit, I'm only 17 and I already look like shit. The special effects, cinematography and editing in this video alone makes this one of the better PVs we've seen in J-Pop this year.


Sunday, December 2, 2012

[Cover Art] Namie serves up hot new cover for Damage

If Damage was released as an Ayu song, there'd be no photoshoot, no music video, no big drama tie-in and no other promotional efforts whatsoever. But Namie is different. Not only did she have an entirely new fierce photoshoot just for the single, but she's also filmed a music video for it. The best part of all? She looks bangin' and has managed to keep her fivehead from stealing all the limelight in this close-up shot.

Namie should count her blessings that she has such a great team. I'd say it's one of the best teams to work with especially when you're at the point where without them, you'd fall into ayumi hamasaki territory, which even Kato Miliyah is falling into.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

[New Release] ayumi hamasaki - again


Dance dance dance, do it again. Sing sing sing, do it again. Boy boy friend, do him again. Ma ma ro, touch me again. You'd think that by again, ayumi hotmessaki would be talking about revisiting her older sound like she did in LOVE, but noooo, because it's clearly to show that she is attached AGAIN! Talk about separating work life from private sexy time life. Merry fucking Christmas to you guys too.

We were all okay with her being with another man like in LOVE ~Destiny~ and H's covers but this time, we're not because we all know that the d00d touching her all over the place is friggin' MARO and you would think that bitch would've learnt her lesson after what happened with Mannie. I can't help but feel like this is doing Peco so much injustice. I don't know why but I just felt like saying that.

Once again, expectedly, we have a glorified single coming our way but this time it's 4 original songs! Yay! Wake me up is reportedly composed by someone from the UK, Sweet scar by DAI, and the other 2 songs by Tetsuya Komuro. Oh someone just ask him to fuck off already. I've heard previews of Wake me up and Sweet scar and so far things are looking good, though I'm not holding my breath because the other 2 songs are gonna stink so bad, I can almost smell it already. Or maybe it's just my fart.

again will be released on 8 December 2012.
CD Tracklist
  1. Wake me up (Original mix)
  2. Sweet scar (Original mix)
  3. snowy kiss (Original mix)
  4. Ivy (Original mix)
  5. Missing (Orchestra version)
  6. Melody (Acoustic Piano version)
  7. Wake me up (Remo-con rmx)
  8. snowy kiss (Shohei Matsumoto remix)
  9. Wake me up (Original mix -Instrumental-)
  10. Sweet scar (Original mix -Instrumental-)
  11. snowy kiss (Original mix -Instrumental-)
  12. Ivy (Original mix -Instrumental-)
DVD Tracklist
  1. Wake me up (video clip)
  2. snowy kiss (video clip)
  3. Sweet scar (video clip)

[Album Review] ayumi hamasaki - LOVE

Look ma, no make-up!

ayumi hotmessaki has been having a very... eventful love life these past few years. What with the marriage, the divorce, a new boy toy, etc., of course Ayu is going to be talking about love once again with another love-themed album because obviously like she said, she tends to keep her work and private life separate. Why of course.

Monday, November 19, 2012

[Singles Review] Go to the top, Force, DEEPNESS

I feel like doing an individual post for one single review would be too short so why not combine them so that it would look like it's very long and make it seem like I did actual hard work?

Today we will be reviewing three singles that are very distinct from one another -- a mother's comeback single, a redundant recut single, and a single that could have revived someone's career but didn't.

Don't worry, this is not a comparison post so keep your pants on.

[New Song] (I'm crying) Utada Hikaru - Sakura Nagashi

Utada Hikaru can make bitches cry in ways that not even Koda Kumi's flailing arms, PV car accidents or broken cellphones can, let alone ayumi hotmessaki's overdramatic fake crying. And guys, I'm not joking when I say I'm shaking and crying... but bitch is fucking back... for now, that is.

If you go to the special site for the song here this song was made specially at the request of the movie producers for Evangelion 3.0. You can also find the English translation of the lyrics there. They are so hauntingly beautiful, and I really have to say the same about the music. I just love it so much. The element of nostalgia emitting from this song coupled with the fact that Hikki is still being lazy on a hiatus can easily send them vulnerable bitches in tears. I don't care what any of you say, but when this song is released on the DVD Single, I bet your ass Adele will buy it and shove it up her vagina. Hikki is so fed up of 21 selling so well, she shows them how it's DONE.

In a way the structure reminds me of Alicia Keys' Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down because of the percussion and bass coming in towards the end. I love it so much. It was exactly what  Sakura Nagashi needed to make everyone wet their pants. This song hits me in the heart in ways I can't even describe. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!!@!@!@!@ ;_; 

The music video which will be on her YouTube for only 3 days is also up and, well, knowing post-divorce Hikki, it sucks. Other than the fact that it looks like it should belong in karaoke lounges there's also a very disturbing scene of a baby sucking on its mother's nipple. Yeah, sure, beautiful, natural, blah blah blah. Fuck you too.

Hikki, I love you and I hope the money you're still earning from the sales of First Love runs out so that you will get your ass back into the studio. xoxo

Saturday, November 17, 2012

[New Release] Kaela Kimura - Sync


I'm sorry if I scared you. I don't even know what to think of this girl anymore. If there is anything that needs to be synced, it's the conceptualisers and the actual cover art designers. I mean, come on, Kaela in the CD+DVD cover looks like a clown who is so horrible she got thrown mustard and blueberry jam at. Which is pretty much what should be thrown at the people who decided to come up with this monstrosity. The idea is much better executed with the CD only cover, but I can't help but wonder... why does her neck look so different between each cover?! The promotional picture (below) actually looks much better, as with everybody's releases.

To be honest I'm not even excited for this album to come out, just like 8EIGHT8. I have to say 8EIGHT8 was a pleasant surprise, though, because there are some really solid tracks on that album. The only song I really like that I've heard from this album so far is Mamireru, and the second single, Sun shower, is exactly what the title is - it makes me want to go shower in the sun and burn myself to death.

Kaela better step her game up with this release because everyone is getting bored by her sounding the same-ish since HOCUS POCUS. I was listening to +1 the other day and realised how much I miss that sound.

Sync will be released on 19 December 2012.
CD Tracklist
  1. Mamireru (マミレル)
  2. HERO
  3. Sun shower
  4. coffee
  5. Hello, Goodbye
  6. sorry
  7. MY WAY
  8. Synchronicity
  9. so i
  10. Merry Go Round
  11. Cherry Blossom
  12. WONDER Volt

DVD Tracklist
  1. Mamireru -music video-
  2. Sun shower -music video-
  3. so i -music video-
  4. Sun shower -making movie-

[CD Packaging] ayumi hamasaki - LOVE

Thanks to the post office for holding my package hostage, I received my copy of ayumi hotmessaki's latest single disguised as a mini-album a little later than usual but yay here it is!

Everyone knows I'm a very deep and analytical person *cough* so with this release I can conclude that avex is beginning their budget cuts with Ayu's releases because this is the first Ayu CD+DVD release that does not come in those thick-as-hell jewel cases! Blasphemy! Though it's a good thing that these can save space and all. Interesting to note that the jewel case for this release is actually slightly thicker, like a 2CD version of A Song for XX. Pretty stupid because the booklet is thin as fuuuuu

Jewel case is slightly thicker than the norm

Overall... average meh packaging so there you go. Booklet is really lame too because there's only 3 pictures inside and all 3 look almost the same. Annoying. Review will be coming up soon! 

[Music Video] Koda Kumi - Koishikute

I was personally looking forward to seeing Koda Kums show off her brand-new mobile phone in her latest PV for Koishikute, but I guess now that she's married she's got nobody to really break up with anymore. It's so funny how they decided to use the outfit she looked the shittiest in for the single covers.

It was pretty hilarious because essentially, in the PV, all she did was to walk by a subway platform, accidentally knock into someone, cry, and then collapse to the ground (talk about a fragile little bitch "DON'T TOUCH ME T_T") while occasionally singing in front of a grand orchestra. The latter, I loike, although I'm not too big a fan of that obnoxious nude-coloured dress that makes her look like a cake. I also thought it was disturbing to see her just obliviously standing beside a piano that was PLAYING BY ITSELF and that black thing around her eyes was totally able to make her unrecognizable.

While it is a pretty song and I kinda do like it, I still think that it doesn't really stand out much and she's done better ballads in the past. But hey, new material is new material!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

[News] Ayu is the new JLo

Kudos to Yahoo! Japan for using such a beautiful picture of Ayu

ayumi hamasaki is one hot mess. She should rename herself to ayumi hotmessaki. We had the divorce earlier this year, the Party Queen photoshoot, her general "flopness" for a J-Pop Queen's standards, the poor marketing management done by her brilliant PR team with this whole 15th anniversary celebration, selling a single as a mini-album and now we have this.

In a shocking twist of events, everything we saw in the PV of You & Me was real -- ayumi hotmessaki is dating her fellow 28-year-old dancer, Maro. And all along when I thought Maro was dating Zin! This is literally like those plot twists in drama series! Intense!

Apparently the both of them managed to find out that tabloid magazines were already going to publish and expose this scandalous affair (actually not so) so they decided to beat them to the bush and do it themselves!

It was really vague because based on translations from Maro's blog entry he merely said he will "take this relationship seriously," which for all we know could mean a mother-son relationship because... the picture above says everything. Ayu decided to be more straightforward and say he is her boyfriend. So there you go. BAM.

Can't help but feel that this is exactly like what went down with Jennifer Lopez minus the career revival. Both ended up dating younger b0is who are their backup dancers too. And it is SO ANNOYING! I hate it when interwork relationships come up because it is going to be so irritating for the other backup dancers to see them in their little intimate moments together. I mean have you seen the You & Me making-of video? Their hands were practically superglued together. And what with Ayu saying she'd draw a line between work and life. My ass. And all of this happened while she was partying her ass off in PARIS! No prizes if you can guess who's there with her too.

Maro's gonna get so much more "solo acts" during tours and this will probably spark a lot of internal conflict among her dance troupe and Ayu will probably end up getting killed by a super jealous dancer. Probably Shuya. But maybe he's gay. But maybe he's not. What am I even talking about. I think Ayu misses Mannie's dick.

I would think that dancers are generally better in bed though. At least both Ayu and Maro have something in common where they both have past marriages! That's probably what sparked the loOoOooOoOve. And also, now we know why the next mini-album is titled again when LOVE came before it. Get it? LOVE again? The next 3 releases will probably be IUF (In Ur Face), Manuel, and Schwarz.

Speaking of Mannie, I wonder what he thinks about everything that's happened in 2012 so far. He must have been partying all night long like a party king on the night the Oricon weeklies were out and LOVE got #4 on the albums chart.

Either way, hope the relationship goes well, hope they get married, then they can have a kid together, bla bla bla. After all the talking I guess I feel indifferent about this. They've probably already been fucking with one another for awhile, and god forbid that he's the reason why Ayu got a divorce. It's not like I'm not gonna buy her next mini-album.

Monday, November 5, 2012

[New Release] Koda Kumi - Koishikute


We all know by now that "slow down" isn't a phrase in Koda Kumster's vocabulary. I think it's safe to say that 2012 is not going to happen because the only way that will happen will be when she doesn't release something within 3 seconds. Her unfortunately short range of vocabulary has also led to yet another single title along the likes of many of her past ballad singles -- Koishikute.

I'm certainly not a fan of whatever she's wearing that's made of garbage bags in there but I have to say it definitely looks better than what Ayu wore in her Together When... PV. Also she looks reaaaaaally weird in the CD+DVD cover and I don't even know why. Hair doesn't look good I guess, and the airbrush probably did something too. Oh well!

Unfortunately the tracklist is looking like shit just like Ai wo Tomenaide because it's going to comprise just Koishikute and a cover of Okamoto Mayo's Alone. Interesting to note that Kuu actually covered that song during her avex audition days!

I did hear the 30-second preview of the song and I think it sounds really pretty. However that's not gonna make me buy it until CDJapan's Spring sale in 2013 comes, together with Go to the top. I'm sure Japan will eat this ballad up like it's a plate piled with sliced raw salmon. Sorry, I'm hungry.

Koishikute will be released on 5 December 2012.
*UPDATE: Koishikute's release has been delayed to 26 December 2012 due to production issues. We al know ayumi hamasaki is the culprit so that people will spend their money on her mini-album instead. 
CD Tracklist
  1. Koishikute (恋しくて)
  2. Alone
DVD Tracklist
  1. Koishikute (Music Video)
  2. Koishikute (Making Video)

I like how her professional and efficient design team decided to erase some of the bokeh from the CD+DVD cover to make it look better, only to export that very same image in full to be its promotional picture, totally forgetting the fact that there's still bokeh remnants on the bottom. Talk about a literal case of not looking at the bigger picture.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

[Music Video] ayumi hamasaki's 2 latest short PVs

When I first watched the ever-lame short version PV for Song 4 u, I was expecting it to go down like this: with those god awful claws they have on their fingers, they'll be cutting the shit out of each other's faces. The 2 queens eventually go face-to-face and they have a final showdown a la Madonna's Die Another Day style and eventually one of them dies.

Reality: a lot of walking up to each other and simply staring at each other until one of them disappears into thin air (???).

And don't get your hopes up with the ever-promising "to be continued..." at the end, guys. Some people have seen the full PV already. Looking at the short PV is enough of a waste of everyone's time.

So does shit get real? No it does not. Spoiler alert: at the end, the queens walk up to each other, engage in an exhilarating stare battle and the screen FADES TO BLACK! Totally did not see that coming!

Ayu is so lazy with her PVs nowadays, it's easy to conclude that bitch doesn't even wanna try anymore.  Either that or she's not bringing avex enough dough to up her budget. It would have made the PV so much better if it were actually interspersed with a second setting. Even Ayu in her pyjamas sitting on a foldable chair while lip syncing over-dramatically (crying optional) filmed using a shitty 5MP smartphone camera would help.

That's not to say I totally hate the video, of course. I'd definitely watch this than see her in a gaudy flower dress walking around an alternate universe while being chased by some giant women, occasionally sitting on a chair with a giant pearl necklace wrapped around herself awkwardly. Sounds familiar?

I have nothing to say about Ayu in the Missing PV other than the fact that she's crying again with her pale-as-fuck skin walking through some field for the whole course of the video. I have to admit some of the shots are really pretty though. She probably likes her men in bed like how it shows in the PV - flying from one end to the other. throwing their back out doing continuous backflips.

Also throwing in the CM for LOVE because she's gonna need the promotion anyway. Avex, you're welcome:

Friday, October 26, 2012

Koda Ku*mmmmm*i goes back to the way she used to be

Koda Kums is back on Music Station to promote her latest single Go to the top and boy is she on FULL THROTTLE! She's scheduled for like, 3 other TV appearances now?! Talk about work ethic that some other people could have.

According to the interview she gained a whopping 15kg during her pregnancy and actually lost 13kg after giving birth. ALL WITHIN LIKE, 2 MONTHS? I need to know what she's eating / doing so I can jump into that as well. Probably from all the hot kinky rough sex her husband's been giving her.

I like how she fumbles in her dance moves at one point and just laughs it off. How cute! Her vocals and dance moves are definitely in top form. I'm so glad she's not a mess. Though I'm not exactly fond of her new hairstyle now that I've seen it in motion because I think it makes her face look fat. And it kinda makes her look old, like how the short hair did for Ayu.

The sales for this single are also on FIYAH! She's already outsold the total sales of her last 2 singles in only 3 days (Ok she's still one hundred short of Ai wo Tomenaide but you get the point). This may also just be her first #1 single in three good damn years. Good for her! This is probably one big comeback she didn't think she was gonna have.

(external link:

Going going to snatch them wigs, going going after Amuro

Saturday, October 20, 2012

[New Song] Namie Amuro - Damage

I don't know what to think of Namie Amuro's Damage. It's like a worse version of Break It. I do think there is a nice melody to it but it just sounds like b-side material to me. Best case scenario, it just ends up on the soundtrack of whichever movie it's tied in to. Worst case scenario, it ends up being the main a-side of her next single. I trust Namie to make wise career choices and making this a main single song wouldn't be one. It does seem like a grower to me, but one thing I'm sure of is that it's not a strong song.  I think it's the arrangement which would help if it had sounded... fuller? Yea. What can I say, I'm a professional music critic.

I hope avex would wake up their stupid idea because I have a feeling that they're getting their heads in the clouds being all "Oh my god Namie is still relevant after 20 years" and might just send her into Koda Kumi mode anytime. Then again I'm sure Vision Factory won't allow this kind of shit to go down.

Koda MILFmi gets back into shape so fast, you'd think the baby was fake

Koda "Go to the 20kg mark" Kumi wastes absolutely no time in getting those titties out and showing everybody her still-stunningly-hot bod. I just don't get what these Japanese women do to keep themselves in such great shape. From today on I'm going to go on an all-Japanese diet. With Singaporean diets, it's a wonder if the mothers here could actually get themselves to just stop eating. It's a miracle if they'd bother to do some exercise instead of complaining about rude customer service sales reps.

In music-related news I'm not looking forward to the release of Go to the top. In fact I didn't even preorder the single; I'm just going to wait for CDJapan's winter sales in December to buy it. She'll be on Music Station next week so I'm excited to see her perform again, yipee.


Ooo I be so mysterious

For the LOOONGEST time ever I've been so BORED by what MISIA has been giving us for the past 2 years. I mean her last 2 studio albums were good, but it doesn't really hit you. And I've just had enough of all the ballads she's been giving us. She's literally had like, what, 7 bloody ballad singles in a row (I don't count digital singles because I am as outdated as Oricon)? Wouldn't even MISIA herself be bored with all that shit? I guess not.

But this time with DEEPNESS I am FINALLY impressed, and I can see this becoming a semi-big hit seeing how it's charting relatively well on the digital charts. I think I just have a really soft spot for those  beats and that it also provides a perfect respite from all the other shit songs she's been giving us, but I really think this is a great song. The single cover looks good too.

I can't wait for her to drop her next album and I hope it'll be really good because I feel like I'm already starting to lose her. With a voice like that she doesn't deserve to end up being like mihimaru GT.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Oopstada Hikaru takes a fall

Utada Hikaru has revealed that she has been hospitalized for 9 days after tearing the ligaments in her foot while on a hike.

The singer was taking part in the Kumano Kodo pilgrimage on September 26th when her foot became injured. Instead of stopping though, she kept on hiking for 3 days with the injury in order to finish the pilgrimage.

"Though I was troubled, I felt like I had to continue to pilgrimage...I do not regret it," she stated.

After completing the pilgrimage, the singer went to the hospital where she stay for 9 days to receive treatment. The muscle in the injured ankle was torn and the ligaments were damaged.

Despite the injuries, the singer has assured fans over twitter that she is fine.

(source: jpopasia)

Talk about an oopsie whoopsie! I'm so glad to hear that she's fine, and if I were her back there I would've headed by ass back home even at the tiniest slip. It's admirable for her to Keep Tryin'! Why am I so lame today (That's a double!)? Tips to those who want to make it in J-Pop: become successful, go on a hiatus then go take a hike. With a reason like "wanting to live like a normal person" going for a hike seems pretty weird, but we all know Hikki really is a bit out of her mind. 

Jokes aside I hope she rests well and maybe this troubling time could help her in her songwriting if you know what I mean. What? I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants her to save J-Pop from fading into oblivion. 

[New Release] ayumi hamasaki - LOVE


After being in one craphole of a photoshoot which ended up being the Party Queen photoshoot, ayumi "sad party queen" hamasaki redeems herself easily with this Love songs-cum-2003-ish-cum-that one picture from 2007 photoshoot for her upcoming EP LOVE. And I LOVE it (what an original pun)!

Although I wish that for once they'd actually be consistent with their text placement but nooooo they decided to L that shit. There's another extra unimportant edition just like FIVE to promote Tales of Xilia 2 but I didn't post the cover here because that is irrelevant. How can anyone, straight or gay, gamer or non-gamer, pick up that edition instead of any of the other 2 featuring the flawless queen on the cover? RIGHT?

Many people also noticed how in all of her mini albums' covers it's always a close up with a hand or two in the picture with her hair covering one of her eyes... ish. I know right?

Anyway I am still not impressed with this release yet because no matter how good the covers are, it doesn't cover (oh no I didn't!) the fact that this release is one hell of a mess that should've just been a single. I'm sorry but 3 songs, 5 remixes and 4 instrumentals do not make this shit a mini album.

If this were to be released as a single, 1) people like me wouldn't be complaining about how it should have been a 3-a single 2) people will be REJOICING because "it's like one of those old Ayu singles" 3) people won't be making articles on how "avex is not letting Ayu release singles anymore"

The ultimate horrors of horrors is how I don't think this release will even reach 100k in sales so the whole of AHS is going to go into absolute apeshit mode. Some will think it's the end of the world while they are being refuted by those who say that "it's just a mini-album guys her next studio album will sell 500k"

I can't help but feel so uncomfortable because this release is like those C-Pop artists where they'd be perpetually releasing compilation albums with a few new songs every now and then and that's exactly what Ayu is doing. For an OCD fuck like me, this is like tainting her own discography but ok I'm obviously just being overdramatic because I'm still gonna buy it anyway.

Song 4 u does sound promising and I've heard a small snippet of Missing and I love it too. I mean... I LOVE it (sorry I can't control myself). Melody, on the other hand, sounds like a piece of crap so I'll wait for the CD Rip to see how it goes. Song 4 u's PV better be NOTHING like progress'. I don't care if progress' PV fitted the lyrics because if I wanted to see scenery while listening to the song I would've gone to Google for that.

LOVE will be released on 8 November 2012.
CD Tracklist
  1. Song 4 u (Original mix)
  2. Missing (Original mix)
  3. Melody (Original mix)
  4. Song 4 u (Orchestra version)
  5. You & Me (SHINICHI OSAWA remix)
  6. You & Me (Remo-con rmx - Extended)
  7. Missing (Dubscribe remix)
  8. Melody (BROKEN HAZE remix)
  9. Song 4 u (Original mix -Instrumental-)
  10. Missing (Original mix -Instrumental-)
  11. Melody (Original mix -Instrumental-)
  12. You & Me (Original mix -Instrumental-)
DVD Tracklist
  1. Song 4 u (video clip)
  2. Missing (video clip)
  3. Song 4 u (making clip)

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

[Music Video] Koda Kumi - Go to the top

Within months after popping out her new baby, Koda Kums is already releasing her next single Go to the top which is in all honesty quite average and I don't quite like it.

The PV is also meh but it's not like I'm expecting her to immediately go in front of the camera to twerk her ass but ok I'll take it either way. I like how they decided to "announce" an upcoming winter ballad single coming in December because 10 years later when we all watch this again we'll totally still think that there's a new single coming. Meanwhile all I see in the PV is boobs, boobs, and boobs. It's like that one anime I watched where everyone had really huge boobs that I think that pretty much ended up being the plot of the anime.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

[Album Review] Superfly - Force


We can all agree that there's no one quite like Superfly. She sure may not have revolutionized the stale-becoming J-Pop industry, but she undeniably holds her own with her unique and distinct rock and roll sound. 5 years into her successful career, Shiho shows no signs of backing down with her new album, Force. She show them bitches how it's done.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

[New Song] ayumi hamasaki - Song 4 u

Obviously Ayu doesn't understand the saying of "what happens on Twitter stays on Twitter" (actually there's none like that but that's not the point) because she even has to bring her reli good Twitter language to her song titles! what a sweet =)

Anyway for those who are still lost, Ayu was once again chosen to sing the theme song for the upcoming Tales of Xillia 2 which is titled Song 4 u. Yep you saw that right.

The short version has already been on sale on iTunes for quite some time and I LOVE IT. It will appear on her upcoming mini-album, LOVE, as part of her 15th anniversary celebrations although it won't make that release seem any less like a mess, but hey, a good song is a good song. The only complaint I have is that it's like another progress.

It is like an awesome mash of a generic Ayu song and a generic anime/game theme song, but this one actually reminds me of something that'd appear on I am... or RAINBOW. I'm excited to hear the full song! At least the production this time is on point unlike a certain You & Me *shudders*


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

[CD Packaging] Superfly - Force (5th Anniversary Edition)

I also received my ginormous copy of the limited 5th anniversary edition of Superfly's latest album, Force!!

Basically the entire album is packaged like a vinyl LP

Upon opening it! The right side houses the 2 CDs of the limited 2CD edition. On the left side there's a slit that has everything else:

A vinyl copy of the album, the lyric booklet and a neat fold-out poster! Too bad there aren't really other pictures to see but I'm fine with it.

So far I've only listened to Force (the song) and I think it's fucking ace. I'll probably listen to the album over the next few days and come up with my review. I also just found out that the album beat out SKE48 on the Oricon Charts and got #1 weekly! Woohoo! Too bad her sales really are declining though, because her first week sales are only 119k. Still doing decent for a female soloist though so I'm happy nonetheless!

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