Sunday, January 13, 2013

Thoughts on NHK's 63rd Kouhaku Utagassen

I apologise for this late post, but I didn't watch the whole of Kouhaku by the way so I'm only talking about the performers I care about. Then again you should know how biased this blog already is by now so here we go!

I was kinda hoping that the Red team would win for the second year in a row because Taylor Swift has an album called Red and that shit sold like an AKB48 release. But alas, the White team won, so that's probably because Taylor Swift's Red is overrated as hell.

ayumi hamasaki

I have to say everything was a HUUUGE step up from her past Kouhaku appearances. This was her first time performing a medley (Dearest ~ evolution ~ SURREAL) on Kouhaku and there were 3 costume changes in the 4-minute performance!

Gurl obviously took down notes when she was watching Katy Perry's movie and they showed that clip of her Hot & Cold performance. Clearly she must have written something wrong and wrote "Sing as badly as Katy Perry" instead, because she slayed her performance vocally, but not in a good way. More of a literal way. That first note, "Ahhh", was all it took to cause a small earthquake to happen somewhere in Japan.

You know what's one other good thing about Ayu's performance? Thank goodness she decided to sing Dearest first. Can you imagine her singing evolution, SURREAL, THEN Dearest? Sweet jesus, I'm shuddering just thinking about it.

Also although she's had probably the same number of dancers on stage as per usual, this time I couldn't help but notice that this time it really seemed like an overkill. Top that with the fact that the NHK Hall is so damn small, much like Ayu's figure herself, isn't doing her any favours either.

While the song choices were probably expected it would've been great if she sang more 2012 songs instead. Who knows, if she bothered to perform a medley of some songs from LOVE and again then maybe again wouldn't be selling like shit.

Koda Kumi


You can already hear the stark contrast when you watch Ayu's performance then Kuu's performance of Go to the top after. I have to say her dancing was a bit stiff though, but that's obviously because of the cloth attached to the back of her. I have a feeling that the news reports of her outfit rumoured to be too controversial were true and therefore made her decide to stick that behind her ass.

I was hoping she'd perform a medley too though, but then again we've had enough of her ballad-rip off dress into slut outfit-pussy popping song routine already so I guess this is still something different from her.

Mika Nakashima

Mika Nakashima performed Hatsukoi, and this was actually the first time I was hearing the song. Not too bad, I must say. I think she's improved a lot vocally since her ear incident even though she was clearly a mess during the low parts in the verse. I thought she nailed the chorus pretty well though! Too bad gurl still looks like she's about to break into a million pieces with one touch of a feather.


ayaka performed Hajimari no Toki, ie. the best song off her latest album. I'm sorry, ayaka, but the bob a few years back was already at the borderline. This, gurl, is the last straw that broke the cameltoe's back. Long story short, you look like a 44-year-old obaasan. I'm sorry ayaka-san but it is what it is. Other than that it was a usual performance from her with flawless vocals. I would've liked the original arrangement better  instead of this acoustic piano version.


Perfume performed Spring of Life using their ~*holographic technorogiz*~ that they've been playing all year round. It's nice to look at though I got bored really quickly. It's like how Ayu keeps using that damn tissue dancer in every damn show she does. I guess this is the kind of performance that will only make you cum when you're there in person.


You got that right bitches. This was MISIA's first ever exclusive TV performance, and of course she's gonna do something extreme with that. MISIA sang Everything and Ashita e in some godforsaken desert in Africa at 50 degrees Celsius (holy crap) and could still sing flawlessly. When will your fave? I wonder how her hair must smell though when it's all wrapped up like that in that kind of weather. Must be pretty unpleasant.

I also watched KyaryPamyuPamyu's performance which was just weird and might have given me a headache, but did anyone catch that one enka singer who had a dress so HUGE and scared the shit out of everyone? That bitch clearly doesn't know about the idea of "less is more".

But in conclusion I thought this year's Kouhaku performances were just average. It's not like Kouhaku performances have always been breathtaking, but I'm just running out of shit to say. So yea.

What was your favourite performance for 2012's Kouhaku?

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