Sunday, March 9, 2014

ayumi hotmesssaki's latest hot messes: I Don't Care / I Love It

ayumi hotmesssaki is ending off her 15th anniversary with... wait... nothing?!?! No tour announcement, no album seemingly in the works, and only an upcoming countdown live DVD slated for release?! I'm dramaticising this shit for nothing, but I always find it amusing how Ayu really ~*doesn't care for anything*~ and just makes me love her all the more.

I DON'T CARE: ayumi hotmarriedsaki

So basically Ayu got married for the second time a few days ago to her fiancé who's 10 years her junior and is a medical student in LA. I literally did not have a reaction at all when I got the news.

I guess Ayu did a pretty good job at desensitising us fans to her love life after the mess with Manny and Maro, and this time she actually kept it classy. All she did was post a picture of two champagne glasses when she announced her marriage on her blog, and this time round, we don't even know his name! Could it be Marco? Matthew? Madelyn? Masturbate? I guess we'll never know! Kudos to Ayu for mastering the art of privacy!

I'm happy and all for her and stuff, and it's probably why she doesn't seem to be touring this year. Maybe she's going to get pregnant and have the baby delivered by her husband himself! Wow! (I'm making so many lame assumptions in this post, people are gonna get me for this)

What's hilarious is how I read that the mainstream Japanese news media announced the marriage and added that the chances of her getting divorced are like, 99% or something loooooooooooooooooool funnycuzitmightbetruewejustgottawaitandseeyoho

I LOVE IT: My Way (m-flo + ayumi hamasaki)

ayumi hotmesssaki just gets better and better after realising that staying safe and/or going solo forever isn't going to do her any favours - I'm not even done popping my pussy to Merry-go-round and she pulls My Way on us, serving us HIP-HOP RAPPING REALNESS WE'VE BEEN MISSING SINCE 1995! That means I've legitimately been waiting for this my entire life!

This hot track comes complete with her trademark vibrato weaved into her rap verses, including "I will always be the quEeEeEeEeEeEeEen". PREACH IT!

I mean, I even have her entire NOTHING FROM NOTHING EP in my music library. Somehow, when Ayu makes this sort of music, it's awesome in a really amusing way that I cannot get enough of.

At this point, I am having super high expectations for her future musical efforts if she still bothers with conceptualising albums rather than putting-stuff-together-and-pray-it-ties-together like the other J-hoes. I want her to go all out ghetto on us and release an EDM / hip-hop / rap / trap album and sell like, 2,000 copies, which will in the process also cause AHS to implode.

I'll be so bummed if she releases another LOVE again because the number of fucks I'm allocating to this ho is getting closer and closer to 0.

Meanwhile let's check out some of Ayu's other rapping hot messes:

1 comment:

  1. Hey there, I wanted to let you know I really enjoy your blog. My favourite are your "Hotmessaki" entries, your snarky humour always makes me smile :) and I agree with quite a lot you are writing about.

    But I enjoy your other entries as well. I have checked out many artists I didn't know about before finding your blog.

    So keep up the good work, I'm always looking forward to new entries ^____^
    Have a good day!


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