[Singles Review] May Singles Highlight: Perfume, JASMINE

Magic of Love

Perfume disappointed with Mirai no Shitseum, and they disappointed HARD, which is why it's only right for them to redeem themselves with Magic of Love. Did they? Kind-of. Magic of Love didn't prove to be as amazeballs and make me play it to death; not as much as Spring Of Life and Hurly Burly, so in comparison to those that song falls flat. The only thing that made this song stand out was how Nocchi sounds weird as fuck in this song, and it's not even in a good way. Maybe she just sounds like that. Poor Nocchi. Handy Man, on the other hand, has some sort of Indian influence to it. Indian-sounding for a song called Handy Man? Unintended subliminal message or not, I love it. But it doesn't make this song sound any less like something that was almost given to KyaryPamyuPamyu by a hair. This single proved to be just average for me, and didn't seem to have the same spark as their previous singles. I'm just overall glad they didn't go downwards from Mirai no Shitseum. Now that would've been BAD.  

6/10

High Flying

Gurl, where you been for 1 year? I absolutely LOVE High Flying. Not as good as Best Partner, but a good song nonetheless. I like the subtle hints of EDM here and there, but given the current trend I certainly wouldn't mind her going all out electronic for the next album (fuck the other a-sides) because it's not like rehashing the same ol' R&B sound is going to do her any favours. Speaking of that, the b-side, BED, is a cover of DOUBLE's, which takes on a slightly jazzier, and more slower R&B feel. I love it. The arrangement is more or less similar to the original, but I found the latter's vocals to be more soothing and smooth which fits the song well. I thought JASMINE on the other hand sounded rather forced on some parts. Anyhoo, I also wonder if titling the song "High Flying" has anything to do with, you know, getting high. ;) Because if this is what she can give me while she's high, I'm not exactly impressed.

 

6/10

[New Release] Namie Amuro - FEEL

CD+Blu-ray | CD+DVD | CD Only

Namie "when will your fave?" Slaymuro is giving me SO MUCH LIFE right now, I don't even know where to start. I can already feel that this shit is gonna blow everybody's pussies up and Namie clearly doesn't give a shit because she does what she wants.

Uncontrolled was some good shit, which Namie herself has admitted it being rushed and last-minutely put together. With FEEL having more creative input from her, it's gonna shut down the whole of Tokyo faster than you can say "holy shitballs". I also hope that her marketing team has enough budget from Uncontrolled's sales to change all the billboards at the Shibuya crossing into her highness' face just so everyone could bow down to her on the release day. And let's be real, her team aren't the ones marketing ayumi hamasaki. So it just might happen.

Namie also seems to think the reason behind Uncontrolled's success is its Engrish tracks in them which is probably why she's serving us a shitload more. I'm not complaining because it's not like I even understand Japanese anyway.

Am I sad that Damage and Beautiful aren't in the tracklist? Maybe. But bitch is clearly getting her shit together because all the songs are actually appropriately capitalised. Shocking! And I didn't even know Contrail was a word before it was announced. I bet Namie still doesn't know what a contrail is too anyway.

FEEL will be released on 10 July 2013.

CD Tracklist

1. Alive
2. Rainbow
3. Can You Feel This Love
4. Big Boys Cry
5. Hands On Me
6. Heaven
7. Poison
8. La La La
9. Supernatural Love
10. Let Me Let You Go
11. Contrail
12. Stardust In My Eyes

DVD / Blu-ray Tracklist

1. Alive (Music Video)
2. Big Boys Cry (Music Video)
3. Contrail (Music Video)
4. Hands On Me (Music Video)
5. Heaven (Music Video)
6. Let Me Let You Go (Music Video)

[CD Packaging] Perfume - Magic of Love (CD+DVD)

I've overthought once again. When I first saw the covers I thought they'd be coming in a fancy transparent plastic slipcase with the grey bits printed on it but noOOOooOOOooo just your usual affair, just like Perfume's music.

[CD Packaging] JASMINE - High Flying

I was looking at the picture of JASMINE signing them limited edition copies and hoping they'd be packaged in a slim digipak but turns out I was wrooooooong. Not complaining because an autographed copy is still an autographed copy, which also makes you wonder how she managed to sit her ass down for 10 years to sign all 2000 copies with the same damn signature. I'd probably write crap like "I am STILL the next Utada baby" or "I wrote this song when I was on crack"

ayumi hamasaki unable to clinch anymore prominent deals, has to settle for hosting

Due to high costs incurred from importing water melted from the ice found at the peak of Mount Everest for her ongoing arena tour where she sits in the water in a glass tank suspended from the ceiling, ayumi hotmessaki has to settle for hosting the upcoming Ultra Music Festival Korea 2013, which is apparently a DJ Music Festival.

This is out of the blue as heck because first of all, it's a DJ music festival. The only reasons why she'd be there is probably to 1) make up for her lack of tie-ins 2) beg DJs for ayu-mi-x 8 or 3) find another husband. Then again, even if she does work with some of the DJs going I hope it's for original material. After Namie is rumoured to be working with Zedd for her upcoming album, gurl better step up her game or the unsold copies of her next studio album can be used to build a mansion. 

This is how I think the show would be like:

"As I don't know much about this genre of music, I would like to perform one of my latest songs, SEASONS. *proceeds to sing SEASONS horribly*"

I'm actually excited to see what will happen there since the last time she's hosted is probably during the AyuReady days from 200 B.C., and while this is probably a last resort for her to earn them extra monies, at least she's not going around telling people she's homeless and has to eat grass. 

[Cover Art] Namie Amuro - FEEL

CD+Blu-ray | CD+DVD | CD Only

Just when you thought Namie Slaymuro is done, she's not. To compensate for the three-year-gap between Uncontrolled and PAST < FUTURE, Namie is going to release an album in July, titled FEEL. Everyone's tired of the "lol she can't feel" jokes now so I shall spare you the misery. Nonetheless, bitch is gonna slay with this shit. There are rumours that the album is going to be produced by Zedd, which just might burst ayumi hamasaki's ovaries.

Let's not even get started on the covers - that is some CAN'T SLEEP, CAN'T EAT, I'M SICK realness. Essentially, the concept behind this album is going to be "don't hear, don't speak, don't see, just feel" or something like that, which also explains the reason behind the covers being black and white. I have no idea how you're going to feel a damn thing if she's telling you not to hear, but okay. Take several notes, Party Queen.

I wanted to get the Blu-ray edition then realised her PVs are shit boring anyway so I settled for the CD+DVD which has the better cover. I'm also glad the covers are not ruined by any form of shit typography (take several notes, LOVE, again, and LOVE again), which also somewhat makes the covers resemble a fragrance ad. Not complaining, though.

Speaking of pulling all the right career moves, Namie has also moved to a new sub-label of avex, "Dimension Point", and I'm really excited because I guess she has more creative freedom now than before. Basically things that Ayu should have done a damn long time ago. She's also going to kick off her new hall tour starting August, and I might actually travel to see her since her Singapore concert got cancelled.

Kaela Kimura pregnant... AGAIN!

Them two be going at it like rabbits. Kaela Ki-mum-ra is now pregnant with her second child, which may or may not mean even more Ring a Ding Dongs, like how she rung Eita's ding dong to get knocked up again. 8EIGHT8 was shit, Sync was also rather shit, and I would really like her to go all out with this second pregnancy to change into this pregnant rocker mother and do another +1 again. Why the hell not? At this point in her career she'd have nothing to lose if that flops anyway.