[Album Review] ayumi hamasaki - A ONE

When you can't sell records, titties are always a solution! ;)

"While I was living overseas, I guess I realised that I really craved the subtleties and detail of the Japanese language. That feeling of 'I want to express it in Japanese' built up inside me and I started to write lyric after lyric. To be perfectly honest, it wasn't that I purposely sought out to make an album that sounded like the old me. It just happened."

ayumi hotmesssaki has somewhat admitted that she really is some kind of a mess. Secondly, I think we all wish Namie Amuro would "crave the subtleties and detail of the Japanese language" too, no?

A ONE is more or less yet another safe, #throwback #throwahoetotheback album as per her pattern since 2010's Love songs, followed by 2013's horrendous LOVE again. But thank god the use of the word "love" isn't in the pattern.

It's like ayumi hotmesssaki stirs a little shit up (Party Queen, Colours) before cowering back into her little corner to create something more subdued, more classic J-Pop. And this is why to many fans, A ONE comes across as a familiar record with little surprises.

I Wanna Das Das In De Rain!!!!11!111!!

So I watched the music video for Koda Cum-i's Dance in the Rain and... oh wait... is that who I think it is...?

Top 20 Mixtape 2014

Alright, I disappeared once again. But the year isn't ending without my Top 20 song list! I decided I'd change things up a bit and do the top 20 songs of the year in a mixtape style. The reason is really because I'm too indecisive to truly sort out the best songs in order, so I'll just dump everything in a playlist for you guys to figure it out yourselves.

Essentially, the 20 tracks I've put together are the songs that really made the year for me. Some were plain wow on first listen, some were growers, and some just made me think, "Did I just wet my pants again?" So it may or may not truly represent the best songs of 2014 (as it always have been on this blog anyway), but it's a varied list that will hopefully be an enjoyable one for you guys. Let's go bitches.

p/s. 8tracks playlists of mixtape at the end of the post. Woohoo!

[News] ayumi hamasaki finally wakes up

ayumi hotmesssaki has gotten her shit slightly more together after her ~*amazing*~ collaboration with m-flo for My Way on the latter group's latest album, and she also announced that she's received a copy of Namie Amuro's FEEL and would be stepping up her game for her next studio effort.

ayumi hotmesssaki's latest hot messes: I Don't Care / I Love It

ayumi hotmesssaki is ending off her 15th anniversary with... wait... nothing?!?! No tour announcement, no album seemingly in the works, and only an upcoming countdown live DVD slated for release?! I'm dramaticising this shit for nothing, but I always find it amusing how Ayu really ~*doesn't care for anything*~ and just makes me love her all the more.

Top 20 J-Pop Songs of 2013

Part of the reason for my long absence is due to the fact that J-Pop this year isn't really that eventful, especially when the biggest news you've heard all year is about ayumi hamasaki getting engaged yet again. Especially for someone who mostly follows only female soloists, the year just gets worse for all my big booty hoes.

The yearly charts are once again dominated by Akihabara Krazy Bitches 48 and the album of the year is yet another Arashi album. At least Namie's album is the highest selling solo album of the year again despite coming in at #6, and J-hoe Shiho managed to break into the Top 10, but other than that, 2013 is basically the carbon copy of 2012 in terms of rankings which is BOOORINGGGGGG

Meanwhile, here is, yet again, my completely biased list of the Top 20 J-Pop Songs of 2013 before we usher in 2014, which, mark my words, will probably end up being just like 2013, which was just like 2012. I still question the order I should've ranked the 20 songs until today, but if it's any consolation, I may or may not have been under the influence while compiling this list.

Maroka Uchiyama's "reBORN" makes ayumi hamasaki's voice sound like gold

For those who didn't know, Maroka Uchiyama, also known as MARO, also known as ayumi hotmesssaki's ex-dancer, also probably more infamously known as that guy ayumi hotmesssaki fucked for 2 seconds before dumping him, recently released his latest single "reBORN". 

You might have also been wondering where I've been for the past few days. Long story short, I heard the song and had to go to the A&E from bleeding ears.

You've been warned:

ayumi hamasaki unable to clinch anymore prominent deals, has to settle for hosting

Due to high costs incurred from importing water melted from the ice found at the peak of Mount Everest for her ongoing arena tour where she sits in the water in a glass tank suspended from the ceiling, ayumi hotmessaki has to settle for hosting the upcoming Ultra Music Festival Korea 2013, which is apparently a DJ Music Festival.

This is out of the blue as heck because first of all, it's a DJ music festival. The only reasons why she'd be there is probably to 1) make up for her lack of tie-ins 2) beg DJs for ayu-mi-x 8 or 3) find another husband. Then again, even if she does work with some of the DJs going I hope it's for original material. After Namie is rumoured to be working with Zedd for her upcoming album, gurl better step up her game or the unsold copies of her next studio album can be used to build a mansion. 

This is how I think the show would be like:

"As I don't know much about this genre of music, I would like to perform one of my latest songs, SEASONS. *proceeds to sing SEASONS horribly*"

I'm actually excited to see what will happen there since the last time she's hosted is probably during the AyuReady days from 200 B.C., and while this is probably a last resort for her to earn them extra monies, at least she's not going around telling people she's homeless and has to eat grass. 

[Album Review] ayumi hamasaki - LOVE again

"Buy rabu agen for watashi no CLEAVAGE"

It being the last studio album she actively promoted, the first studio album she conceptualised and written in its entirety with cohesion, and even naming two concerts after it, you can already tell ayumi hotmessaki sure loves her Love songs. 1 studio album later, she farts out another one called LOVE again. It's either meant to be an obvious second part album to Love songs, or an attempt to pay homage to her second studio album, LOVEppears. I personally think she's just lazy and conveniently decided combine her previous 2 "mini-albums".

It's funny how this studio album comes right after the trainwreck that was Party Queen. Can't say much shit about it though, since its title track was what gave me inspiration for this heck of a blog's title, but you can tell the stark difference between the concept, album arts and all. From the experimental, no-singles, shit-selling and riot-causing Parlee Kwee, Ayu listens to y'all, guys, and has as a result recoiled back into a more safe, even-more-shit-selling, throwback sound that is liberally smeared all over LOVE again.

[CD Packaging] ayumi hamasaki - LOVE again (CD+Blu-ray Limited Edition)

After an extremely long wait (it was the Chinese New Year rush over here) I finally received my copy of the CD+Blu-ray+GOODS edition of ayumi hotmessaki's LOVE again. Which comes with an ayu-pan figurine and a photobook. At least for the first time in a loooong time we're not getting weird shit like coasters and cups.

[New Release] ayumi hamasaki - ARENA TOUR 2012 A ~HOTEL Love songs~

2DVD | Blu-ray

...and that is one hell of a mess of a 15th anniversary celebration. Labels are convenient, aren't they? ayumi hotmessaki's final EXCITING, TOTALLY UNPREDICTABLE 5th release closing the 5-releases-5-months thingamajig to be released on March 8 leading up to her 15th anniversary is none other than a workout DV- I mean, the DVD / Blu-ray release for her Arena Tour last year which we all know that if not for this 5-releases-5-months thingamajig, would have never been released at all!

It's sad to say that we all saw this coming. You tried, avex, you tried. I have to say that the cover is a huge step-up from her CDL 2011-2012 cover where her sausage lips took up approximately 80% of her face. Plus there's actually some photoshop effort put into this so good job on that one. Also thank god the hideous tour logo isn't anywhere near the cover.

On the other hand, this is her first Arena Tour release in god knows how long where there will only be 2 DVDs, and the only extra we will all be getting is the 4 interlude videos that were played between her costume changes. No extra performances, no compilation of MCs, no documentary, no shit. So for those anticipating for an extra performance of Return Road to be dumped in there, sorry but ain't gonna happen bruh. 

I'm also bummed that her encore performane of call in the earlier dates aren't included but on the other end of the spectrum I'm just glad kiss o' kill is in there because let's face it, that song is da bomb. I don't give two shits about the Kishidan performance (maybe I will after watching it) and I'm going to pretend Thank U was never part of the setlist.

I'm still excited for this tour because I actually enjoyed the countdown live version of HOTEL Love songs, so I'm hoping the standard is around the same, or even better. My body is ready.

ayumi hamasaki ARENA TOUR 2012 A ~HOTEL Love songs~ will be released on 8 March 2013.

Tracklist

1. Happening Here
2. Song 4 u
3. feedback
4. Tell me why
5. reminds me
6. appears
7. Missing
8. a cup of tea
9. Shake It♥
10. STEP you
11. NaNaNa
12. Sparkle
13. the next LOVE
14. Eyes, Smoke, Magic
15. kiss o' kill
16. Serenade in A minor
17. Ladies Night
18. Party queen
19. SURREAL ～ evolution ～ SURREAL
20. Love song
21. One Night Carnival
22. Boys & Girls
23. how beautiful you are
24. Thank U

★ video screen (4 titles)

ayumi hamasaki holds first public event in 10 decades, thinks public still cares

Having been banned from Music Station and sees no other mediums to promote her latest flop album, LOVE again on, ayumi hotmessaki decided to hold her first public release event in 10 decades (gurl doesn't age a bit!) because apparently the public still cares about her music.

I have no idea what went on but it is also promoted in line with her LINE app shit, which I also have no idea who uses, which would explain why her album only sold 53k copies. Also, Maro.

An audience member tells it like it is.

[Music Video] ayumi hamasaki - Melody

It seems like ayumi hotmessaki has saved the best for last. That doesn't say much though, because her music videos in the LOVE again era are enough evidence to show that she is slowly heading towards the Utada Hikaru direction PV-wise.

[Album Review] ayumi hamasaki - A Classical

I have the insider story from avex trax itself. Apparently, after announcing the 5-releases-in-5-months campaign for ayumi hotmessaki's trainwreck of a 15th anniversary, Ayu's marketing team gathered in the conference room. The atmosphere was solemn that afternoon.

"What will the third release be?"

That was the question running through everyone's mind, but it didn't take them long to search "ayumi hamasaki discography" on Wikipedia before coming to a conclusion. "Another kurashiku arubamu!" yelled one employee. Everyone stared at him with confusion in their eyes.

"But Mitsubishi-san! We can't possibly do a Party Queen Classical? Its chart position will surely be N/A!"

"That's why we're not going to make a Party Queen Classical. Think about it. 15 years of music. Put the 'Classic' in Classical. DUH OF COURSE WE GON USE HER CLASSICS GURL LET'S JUST POST A POLL ON TA NOW AND ASK WHAT'S THEIR FAV SONGS WHICH WILL OBVS BE LIKE M AND SHIT LOLLLL"

[CD Packaging] ayumi hamasaki - A Classical

The pencil-drawn cover actually kinda looks better in person. Doesn't make it any less of a lazy effort though.

Thoughts on NHK's 63rd Kouhaku Utagassen

I apologise for this late post, but I didn't watch the whole of Kouhaku by the way so I'm only talking about the performers I care about. Then again you should know how biased this blog already is by now so here we go!

I was kinda hoping that the Red team would win for the second year in a row because Taylor Swift has an album called Red and that shit sold like an AKB48 release. But alas, the White team won, so that's probably because Taylor Swift's Red is overrated as hell.

[Album Review] ayumi hamasaki - again

I want to show the world how happy I am with my new boyfie, Maro-kun! ^_^

As the 2nd of 5 releases on the 8th of every month leading up to her 15th anniversary, again is once... again, another mini-album, that is once... again, like LOVE, which is not really a mini-album. It's not even a mystery why it's titled that way. Even though this album flopped hard on the charts and Namie is getting a real kick out of looking at her fall from grace from the top of Tokyo Dome, are the quality of the songs in this release a sad, miserable flop too?

Top 20 J-Pop Songs of 2012

By now you should know that I listen to a lot of artists. Lmao who am I trying to kid? But as far as I know, even though the Oricon Top 10 singles this year hit an all-time pathetic, it was still a pretty eventful year, and the songs released in 2012 were pretty good.

So here's my Top 20 J-Pop Songs of 2012 before we welcome 2013, another year of AKB48 ridiculousness and ayumi hamasaki's further efforts to revive her career.

[New Release] ayumi hamasaki - LOVE again

CD+Bluray
CD+DVD | CD

ayumi hotmessaki really knows how to make a fandom burn. For the first time ever, the peeps over at the AHS forums actually made an accurate prediction -- except it was a joke that wasn't really supposed to happen. You'd think it's bad enough she re-used a mini-album cover for a classical album cover, but bitch be keepin' them surprises coming. After all, ayumi hamasaki always tries new things! Releasing singles as mini-albums (never done by her before!!) and now putting mini-albums into full-length albums (also never done by her before!!). This Queen of J-Flop has more copies of Koda Kumi's TRICK up her and Maro's sleeves than you may think.

[CD Packaging] ayumi hamasaki - again

I just received my copy yesterday probably due to the Christmas rush or something. Urgh but yay



Once ~*again*~ it's packaged in a thicker 2CD jewel case just like LOVE.



Ayu subtly acknowledging her fans with foot fetishes



And yea, basically boring shit like that. The disc art itself is sleep-inducing.