[News] ayumi hamasaki finally wakes up

ayumi hotmesssaki has gotten her shit slightly more together after her ~*amazing*~ collaboration with m-flo for My Way on the latter group's latest album, and she also announced that she's received a copy of Namie Amuro's FEEL and would be stepping up her game for her next studio effort.

ayumi hotmesssaki's latest hot messes: I Don't Care / I Love It

ayumi hotmesssaki is ending off her 15th anniversary with... wait... nothing?!?! No tour announcement, no album seemingly in the works, and only an upcoming countdown live DVD slated for release?! I'm dramaticising this shit for nothing, but I always find it amusing how Ayu really ~*doesn't care for anything*~ and just makes me love her all the more.

ayumi hamasaki unable to clinch anymore prominent deals, has to settle for hosting

Due to high costs incurred from importing water melted from the ice found at the peak of Mount Everest for her ongoing arena tour where she sits in the water in a glass tank suspended from the ceiling, ayumi hotmessaki has to settle for hosting the upcoming Ultra Music Festival Korea 2013, which is apparently a DJ Music Festival.

This is out of the blue as heck because first of all, it's a DJ music festival. The only reasons why she'd be there is probably to 1) make up for her lack of tie-ins 2) beg DJs for ayu-mi-x 8 or 3) find another husband. Then again, even if she does work with some of the DJs going I hope it's for original material. After Namie is rumoured to be working with Zedd for her upcoming album, gurl better step up her game or the unsold copies of her next studio album can be used to build a mansion. 

This is how I think the show would be like:

"As I don't know much about this genre of music, I would like to perform one of my latest songs, SEASONS. *proceeds to sing SEASONS horribly*"

I'm actually excited to see what will happen there since the last time she's hosted is probably during the AyuReady days from 200 B.C., and while this is probably a last resort for her to earn them extra monies, at least she's not going around telling people she's homeless and has to eat grass. 

Kaela Kimura pregnant... AGAIN!

Them two be going at it like rabbits. Kaela Ki-mum-ra is now pregnant with her second child, which may or may not mean even more Ring a Ding Dongs, like how she rung Eita's ding dong to get knocked up again. 8EIGHT8 was shit, Sync was also rather shit, and I would really like her to go all out with this second pregnancy to change into this pregnant rocker mother and do another +1 again. Why the hell not? At this point in her career she'd have nothing to lose if that flops anyway.

ayumi hamasaki holds first public event in 10 decades, thinks public still cares

Having been banned from Music Station and sees no other mediums to promote her latest flop album, LOVE again on, ayumi hotmessaki decided to hold her first public release event in 10 decades (gurl doesn't age a bit!) because apparently the public still cares about her music.

I have no idea what went on but it is also promoted in line with her LINE app shit, which I also have no idea who uses, which would explain why her album only sold 53k copies. Also, Maro.

An audience member tells it like it is.

63rd Kouhaku Performers' List - Angela Aki be MAD

Red Team

1. aiko – “Kuchibiru”
2. ayaka – “Hajimari no Toki”
3. Ikimonogakari – “Kaze ga Fuiteiru”
4. Ishikawa Sayuri – “Amagi Goe”
5. AKB48 – “AKB48 Kohaku 2012 SP Dai 2-sho”
6. SKE48 – “Pareo wa Emerald”
7. Kyary Pamyu Pamyu – “Kohaku 2012 Kyary Pamyu Pamyu Medley”
8. Koizai Kaori – “Sake no Yado”
9. Koda Kumi – “Go to the top”
10. Godai Natsuko – “Koi Zange”
11. Sakamoto Fuyumi – “Yozakura Oshichi”
12. Tendo Yoshimi – “Soran Matsuri Bushi”
13. Mika Nakashima – “Hatsukoi”
14. Nishino Kana – “GO FOR IT!!”
15. Perfume – “Spring of Life”
16. ayumi hamasaki – “2012 A SPECIAL Medley”
17. Fuji Ayako – “Wasurenai”
18. Princess Princess – “Diamonds”
19. Nana Mizuki – “BRIGHT STREAM”
20. Mizumori Kaori – “Hitori Nagaragawa”
21. Momoiro Clover Z – “Momoiro Kohaku Da Z!!”
22. YUI – “Good-bye days”
23. YUKI – “Prism”
24. Yuki Saori – “Yoake no Scat”
25. Wada Akiko – “Ai, Todokimasuka”

White Team

1. Arashi – “New Year’s Eve Medley 2012″
2. Itsuki Hiroshi – “Yoake no Blues”
3. HY – “Ichiban Chikaku ni”
4. EXILE – “Rising Sun”
5. NYC – “NYC Kohaku Medley”
6. Kanjani 8 – “Hatsu Kohaku!! Zenryoku Zenshin Jya Jya Jya Jya-n!”
7. Kitajima Saburo – “Fusetsu Nagare Tabi”
8. Hiromi Go – “Dangerer☆”
9. Golden Bomber – “Memeshikute”
10. Kobukuro – “Kami Hikouki”
11. Saito Kazuyoshi – “Yasashiku Naritai”
12. Sandaime J Soul Brothers – “Hanabi”
13. SMAP – “SMAP 2012′ SP”
14. Tachi Hiroshi – “Arashi wo Yobu Otoko”
15. TOKIO – “KIBOU”
16. Tokunaga Hideaki – “Ue wo Muite Arukou”
17. AAA – “777 ~We can sing a song!~”
18. Naoto Inti Raymi – “Brave”
19. Hikawa Kiyoshi – “Sakura”
20. FUNKY MONKEY BABYS – “Sayonara Janai”
21. Fukuyama Masaharu – “Beautiful life”
22. Hosokawa Takashi – “Naniwabushi Dayo Jinsei wa”
23. Porno Graffitti – “Kageboushi”
24. Miwa Akihiro – “Yoitomake no Uta”
25. Mori Shinichi – “Fuyu no Riviera”

Meh, nothing really exciting to look forward to this year, but I'm gonna be pissed mad if Angela Aki's absence is because of her not receiving an invitation. Bitch got a TV show earlier that year on the same TV station but doesn't get to perform on Kouhaku? Incredulous. Plus while SONGBOOK flopped, you gotta admit that was some pretty good shit. 

Of course, ayumi hotmessaki will be opening the show once again for the 10000th year in a row so yay for her. I'm looking forward to this special medley (first time for her) but it'll most likely be full of her older hits since she doesn't even need to announce it to know that A BEST 3 will be coming our way soon. I'm hoping for at least Song 4 u and Wake me up to be included but let's just say she's more likely to sing SURREAL / M / evolution / Boys & Girls / etc. etc. 

The theme for this year is Uta de Aitai, which crudely means "meet with song", but nobody likes to be greeted with ayumi hotmessaki's vibrato, and neither does anybody like to be greeted with YUI's voice coupled with her perpetually constipated singing face. I'm telling you, gurl's secretly an attention whore.  "Oh hey guys since I'm going for my second hiatus I never know when I'm coming back (i.e. in 6 months) so I've decided to attend Kouhaku for the first time eva!!!"

I'm also looking forward to MISIA's performance that will be shown live from some African desert. I would've preferred to see Kuu performing Koishikute (Or even a medley with both singles this year) but oh well. Hopefully the red team wins this year again like last year, especially now that they have AKB48 and shit. 

Music Station Super Live 2012: Guess who's NOT invited?

Here is this year's line-up for Music Station Super Live 2012!

Oh look! Hamasaki Ayumi-san ish no inviteto thissu year desu! Rooks like after her no-show last year because she didn't buy a return ticket early enough, Tamori-san has had it! We get more impatient as we get older after all, can't blame it all on him. Either that or she simply decided she's going to have sex with Maro all day that night just in case the world really ends on that day.

2012/12/21

1. aiko
2. ayaka
3. ARASHI
4. Ikimono Gakari
5. AKB48
6. EXILE
7. KAT-TUN
8. Kanjani8
9. Kis-My-Ft2
10. Kyary Pamyu Pamyu
11. KinKi Kids
12. Kuwata Keisuke
13. Koda Kumi
14. Kobukuro
15. JUJU
16. Superfly
17. SMAP
18. SEKAI NO OWARI
19. Sonar Pocket
20. TOKIO
21. Nishino Kana
22. Perfume
23. B'z
24. FUNKY MONKEY BABYS
25. Fukuyama Masaharu
26. Princess Princess
27. Hey! Say! JUMP
28. Porno Graffiti
29. Mr.Children
30. Momoiro Clover Z
31. YUI
32. YUKI
33. Yuzu
34. L'Arc～en～Ciel
35. Ling Tosite Sigure

(Source)

If I even live on the next day to torrent the show, I'm looking forward to ayaka, Kuu, Superfly and Perfume! Meh, that's not a lot of performers to look forward to, but still.

[News] Ayu is the new JLo

Kudos to Yahoo! Japan for using such a beautiful picture of Ayu

ayumi hamasaki is one hot mess. She should rename herself to ayumi hotmessaki. We had the divorce earlier this year, the Party Queen photoshoot, her general "flopness" for a J-Pop Queen's standards, the poor marketing management done by her brilliant PR team with this whole 15th anniversary celebration, selling a single as a mini-album and now we have this.

In a shocking twist of events, everything we saw in the PV of You & Me was real -- ayumi hotmessaki is dating her fellow 28-year-old dancer, Maro. And all along when I thought Maro was dating Zin! This is literally like those plot twists in drama series! Intense!

Apparently the both of them managed to find out that tabloid magazines were already going to publish and expose this scandalous affair (actually not so) so they decided to beat them to the bush and do it themselves!

It was really vague because based on translations from Maro's blog entry he merely said he will "take this relationship seriously," which for all we know could mean a mother-son relationship because... the picture above says everything. Ayu decided to be more straightforward and say he is her boyfriend. So there you go. BAM.

Can't help but feel that this is exactly like what went down with Jennifer Lopez minus the career revival. Both ended up dating younger b0is who are their backup dancers too. And it is SO ANNOYING! I hate it when interwork relationships come up because it is going to be so irritating for the other backup dancers to see them in their little intimate moments together. I mean have you seen the You & Me making-of video? Their hands were practically superglued together. And what with Ayu saying she'd draw a line between work and life. My ass. And all of this happened while she was partying her ass off in PARIS! No prizes if you can guess who's there with her too.

Maro's gonna get so much more "solo acts" during tours and this will probably spark a lot of internal conflict among her dance troupe and Ayu will probably end up getting killed by a super jealous dancer. Probably Shuya. But maybe he's gay. But maybe he's not. What am I even talking about. I think Ayu misses Mannie's dick.

I would think that dancers are generally better in bed though. At least both Ayu and Maro have something in common where they both have past marriages! That's probably what sparked the loOoOooOoOve. And also, now we know why the next mini-album is titled again when LOVE came before it. Get it? LOVE again? The next 3 releases will probably be IUF (In Ur Face), Manuel, and Schwarz.

Speaking of Mannie, I wonder what he thinks about everything that's happened in 2012 so far. He must have been partying all night long like a party king on the night the Oricon weeklies were out and LOVE got #4 on the albums chart.

Either way, hope the relationship goes well, hope they get married, then they can have a kid together, bla bla bla. After all the talking I guess I feel indifferent about this. They've probably already been fucking with one another for awhile, and god forbid that he's the reason why Ayu got a divorce. It's not like I'm not gonna buy her next mini-album.

Oopstada Hikaru takes a fall

Utada Hikaru has revealed that she has been hospitalized for 9 days after tearing the ligaments in her foot while on a hike.

The singer was taking part in the Kumano Kodo pilgrimage on September 26th when her foot became injured. Instead of stopping though, she kept on hiking for 3 days with the injury in order to finish the pilgrimage.

"Though I was troubled, I felt like I had to continue to pilgrimage...I do not regret it," she stated.

After completing the pilgrimage, the singer went to the hospital where she stay for 9 days to receive treatment. The muscle in the injured ankle was torn and the ligaments were damaged.

Despite the injuries, the singer has assured fans over twitter that she is fine.

(source: jpopasia)

Talk about an oopsie whoopsie! I'm so glad to hear that she's fine, and if I were her back there I would've headed by ass back home even at the tiniest slip. It's admirable for her to Keep Tryin'! Why am I so lame today (That's a double!)? Tips to those who want to make it in J-Pop: become successful, go on a hiatus then go take a hike. With a reason like "wanting to live like a normal person" going for a hike seems pretty weird, but we all know Hikki really is a bit out of her mind. 

Jokes aside I hope she rests well and maybe this troubling time could help her in her songwriting if you know what I mean. What? I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants her to save J-Pop from fading into oblivion. 

ayumi hamasaki to have another 15 minutes of fame every month for 5 months

As we all know, the queen will be celebrating her 15th anniversary next year and in order to commemorate this glorious milestone of hers, there will be 5 releases on the 8th of each month starting November leading up to April 8th!!! You have 2 months to save up, bitches.

She'll start with a mini-album with a very original title, "LOVE", which is essentially like an old Ayu single because there will be 12 tracks, 3 of which are new original songs Song 4 u, Melody and Missing. The rest are remixes and 4 instrumentals (including You & Me's), so yep.

This release seems like a mess and I'm expecting the covers to have Kana Nishino written all over. This is just avex's lame excuse of not releasing a single because her #1 single streak is just so precious, and they are totally still vying for that #1 album every year record. News Flash: JUJU will be releasing her best album that week, lulz

I will do anything for the duck... ANYTHING

Koda Kumi's fanclub Koda Gumi posted up some exclusive goodies only for fanclub members as part of promotion for Beach Mix!

イヤホンジャック￥1,200/ラバーコースターセット(倖田組)￥1,500/うちわ￥800

Of course, there is a reason why I made the duck above the largest of the three. The 1200-yen iPhone jack clearly steals the show because it looks so stupid, I LOVE IT. We all know everyone would want a Kuu duck sitting on top of our iPhones. If only I lived in Japan ;(

The other two goods are 800-yen Uchiwas and 1500-yen rubber coasters. The coasters look pretty lame though, but ok.

Ayu gets second place on NINKI, hacks Oricon for consolation

The horrors of horrors! Your eyes are not playing tricks, everybody. A SUMMER BEST has been placed at an unfortunate #2 on the NINKI prediction charts on ORICON. What's even more unfortunate is that the index is a mere 79.90 while Party Queen's was 171.30! Dun dun dunnn!!

I thought A SUMMER BEST was just an excuse for Ayu to continue her record of one #1 album every year since her debut, but it looks like even avex can't be bothered with that record anymore!

I think there's a slim chance that Ayu might still end up being #1 anyway because SMAP's last album in 2010 only sold 180k in its first week, and to put things in perspective Rock'n'Roll Circus released the same year sold 205k first week and Love songs with also 180k. Plus, this time it's a best album sooooo yea, they can have fun battling it out.

Or as we can follow the Ayu stan logic, "Party Queen got #1 for NINKI but #2 weekly, so this time, A SUMMER BEST will get #2 on NINKI and #1 weekly!" sigh... god bless our souls.

In addition to this calamity, this has certainly driven ayumi hamasaki herself even crazier than she already is, thereby causing Oricon to have what seems like a technical glitch, although deep down we all know this is definitely the doing of the queen of J-Pop.

The Top 40 best-selling singles of 2012 are A BEST 2 -WHITE-, A BEST 2 -WHITE-, A BEST 2 -WHITE-... ... and A BEST 2 -WHITE-! I find it funny how there's only 3 Facebook likes, but that's not the point. Ayu clearly misses the time where her career was at its musical peak, and what better to represent it with than A BEST 2 -WHITE-?

It's been up on Oricon since early this morning and still hasn't been fixed yet. Ayu must be one skilled hacker.

"Ohhh how desperate I am to reclaim the crown that once belonged to me... oh fliday night... when GUILTY got #2... I... who have nothing..."

BE MY BABY: Koda Kumi has (finally) given birth to a baby boy!

The moment has arrived , and so has the extremely bad pun in the title. Koda Kumi is now officially a MILF!

She posted a message in Japanese, English AND Korean on her Facebook page today announcing the birth of her baby b0i!

My dear husband and I had a healthy baby boy the other day.
He is tiny but means the world to us.
Again I've found one more thing in life I love with all my heart.
When I look at him, feelings I've never known before come to me and my love can't be described in words.

I plan to grow and learn as I continue on in life with my husband and son.

Now, I believe I can perform songs with more love to you at the concert in November.
I am looking forward to seeing all of you.

Kumi Koda

Congratulations Kuu! It's so emotional reading these words coming from a new mother ;_; 20 years down the road, she'll be telling her son, "When I was pregnant with you, I had to release this shit album called Beach Mix!" and shit will probably hit the wall.

I'm so excited to see what future plans Kuu has in store for us and her next tour better have her poppin' her pussy like her dear life depends on it!

Watch out, guys, as a new child prodigy may be coming our way...