[Album Review] Koda Kumi - WALK OF MY LIFE

"Fuck me now."

A new ramen restaurant just opened in town. There is massive hype for it, because it's been around in Japan for the past 10 years and is still going strong. There are long queues almost every day. Naturally, you try it for yourself one day in your hometown. Unfortunately, the soup was awfully bland. The pork slices were tough and overcooked. The noodles tasted rubbery. The bottom of the bowl didn't seem remotely near in sight even though it felt like you spent an hour trying to painfully finish it.

Now let's change the setting.

It's Koda Kumi's 15th anniversary. An autobiographical-titled album, WALK OF MY LIFE, is released. Pussies will be popped. Weaves will be snatched. Confetti will be scattered around Tokyo. The ramen will, however, still suck. But the ramen's not alone in this, because the album also sucked.

Alas, life isn't always fair like this.

I Wanna Das Das In De Rain!!!!11!111!!

So I watched the music video for Koda Cum-i's Dance in the Rain and... oh wait... is that who I think it is...?

Top 20 Mixtape 2014

Alright, I disappeared once again. But the year isn't ending without my Top 20 song list! I decided I'd change things up a bit and do the top 20 songs of the year in a mixtape style. The reason is really because I'm too indecisive to truly sort out the best songs in order, so I'll just dump everything in a playlist for you guys to figure it out yourselves.

Essentially, the 20 tracks I've put together are the songs that really made the year for me. Some were plain wow on first listen, some were growers, and some just made me think, "Did I just wet my pants again?" So it may or may not truly represent the best songs of 2014 (as it always have been on this blog anyway), but it's a varied list that will hopefully be an enjoyable one for you guys. Let's go bitches.

p/s. 8tracks playlists of mixtape at the end of the post. Woohoo!

Mid-Year Reality Check: 5 Albums in 2014 to Check Out

2014 so far has been a year that has truly expanded my horizons. Thanks to schoolwork, my eyebags have a total surface area of 50cm² now, a size I previously thought would never become reality. My 64GB iPhone 5s also maxed out its storage space for the first time ever, which has, of course, sent me into an indefinite period of depression.

I also got to hear some pretty good J-music as of recent times, so here are 5 of the most kickass albums I've heard this year that I feel are worth listening, which I hope will help you tide over whichever sort of depression you're experiencing too. And if you thought 2013 was bad, these albums only solidify that fact further.

[Album Review] DREAMS COME TRUE - Watashi to Drecom -DREAMS COME TRUE 25th ANNIVERSARY BEST COVERS-

Mass orgy time!

Best albums are commonplace in Japan's music scene, but as far as I know tribute albums are almost unheard of, and there isn't a better occasion that calls for it than for DREAMS COME TRUE's 25th anniversary. DREAMS COME TRUE has been around since FOREVER and I think their music is really unparalleled compared to other J-Pop acts. I don't even know why they don't receive as much attention internationally as their other veteran counterparts like B'z and SMAP.

[Album Review] Koda Kumi - Bon Voyage

"Yeah all u bitches be trippin up on this shizz right here"

I believe one thing fans need to realise by now is that Koda Kumsies does not give a single flying fuck about reinventing herself anymore. Gorl is old enough to do what she wants to do, and Bon Voyage is the very result of that. This predominantly dance pop record proves that Kuu has done it right again and isn't trying to prove anything other than to have fun in one of her most cohesive efforts since forever.

[CD Packaging] Koda Kumi - Bon Voyage (CD+Blu-ray)

Soooo due to very embarrassing reasons my 5-year-old PC has overheated and subsequently died so I was not able to plug my 7-year-old digital camera (also embarrassing) in and import photos (and since it's so damn ancient, I can't simply import them to my MacBook either) so y'all will have to deal with my shitty iPhone photos for now.

[New Release] Koda Kumi - Bon Voyage

CD+Blu-ray | CD+DVD | CD Only

If you've been in tune with J-Pop news unlike me, you would've known that Koda Kumsies will be releasing a new album as per usualz and just like how it's titled Bon Voyage, it would seem that she's also bidding farewell to her budget over at avex because the covers look terrible!

Top 20 J-Pop Songs of 2013

Part of the reason for my long absence is due to the fact that J-Pop this year isn't really that eventful, especially when the biggest news you've heard all year is about ayumi hamasaki getting engaged yet again. Especially for someone who mostly follows only female soloists, the year just gets worse for all my big booty hoes.

The yearly charts are once again dominated by Akihabara Krazy Bitches 48 and the album of the year is yet another Arashi album. At least Namie's album is the highest selling solo album of the year again despite coming in at #6, and J-hoe Shiho managed to break into the Top 10, but other than that, 2013 is basically the carbon copy of 2012 in terms of rankings which is BOOORINGGGGGG

Meanwhile, here is, yet again, my completely biased list of the Top 20 J-Pop Songs of 2013 before we usher in 2014, which, mark my words, will probably end up being just like 2013, which was just like 2012. I still question the order I should've ranked the 20 songs until today, but if it's any consolation, I may or may not have been under the influence while compiling this list.

[PV Review] Koda Kumi - TOUCH DOWN

Sometimes I refuse to believe Koda Kumi is really dumb as bricks. You guys should have probably seen Kuu's TOUCH DOWN video by now and the more I look at it, the more I think it makes absolutely no sense. If it's supposed to, that is. So after much thinking I've pretty much realised that this PV does make sense - it's all about Kuu being hungry for a big dong.

Who says you can't mix business with pleasure? Well, for Koda Kumi, it's not so much about pleasure because Kenji probably isn't pleasuring her enough at home. In response to this, Koda Kumi is a professional. She makes messages subliminal. She wants that big dick, and she wants to show Kenji-sama how she wants to get down and durrty. You'd think the TOUCH DOWN PV was all commercialised to sell sex, but this definitely touches down on a more personal level for Kuu.

[Singles Review] July Singles Highlight: JASMINE, Koda Kumi

JASMINE - HERO

In an unusual twist of events, JASMINE released her latest single, HERO, 2 months after her previous! Someone's working hard! Further foraying into the EDM scene, HERO is a song that sends out an encouraging message, what with "don't give up", "you are my hero", "you is good, kind, important", you get the drift. It starts off rather slow before building up until the chorus where the bass drops and things really pick up from there. I really like the "your wish will change the night" part though; a pity it only appears once throughout the song. It gets a *tad* repetitive after a while, but overall I still like it.

The b-side, Missing, is a Kubota Toshinobu song that's been rearranged with a fuller electronic and R&B sound meshed together. It's a nice addition to the single, but doesn't really work for me. Somehow I feel that the arrangement sort of strips away the magic of the original song. On the other hand, I absolutely love Why (T.O.M Remix for JAS VEGAS). I normally don't enjoy ballads remixed, but this actually worked pretty well because it didn't sound forced. The arrangement complements the song really well and meshes together very smoothly.

Unfortunately, as a lead single to her sophomore album to be released in a month, it does fall flat and doesn't seem like a good choice to be released if they're trying to create hype for her album release. 

6/10

Koda Kumi - Summer Trip

It's that time of the year again when our favourite skank-ass ho drops her new summer single. As with all her weird-ass summer singles with their random-ass interludes, a radio-show concept is used for this which probably has the worst script ever. It's like the DJ didn't have enough content to talk about the song so he starts describing the music video out like we give that much of a damn.

LALALALALA is your classic summer Kuu song which reminds me a lot Hashire! in the verses somehow, lol. It's like a better version of Poppin' love cocktail. The song is catchy and probably sounds great live too. You know a song is gonna rally up a crowd good when you put in not one, not two, but 5 freakin' Las in it.

While the usage of grammar in IS THIS TRAP? is questionable in typical Kuu fashion, it's unquestionably a catchy electropop song that once again captivates the listener with a shit-ton of OH WOAH OH OH!s. It's like a watered down version of TABOO / ECSTASY, but in a good way, and is probably my favourite song off this single. The interlude before it talks about how the song is about Tokyo, where Kuu achieved her dreams and sings about the ups and downs (the traps) in it. Pretty interesting and actually something worth listening to lol

TOUCH DOWN easily wins me over simply because it's ghetto as hell. The song was also previously recorded by JoJo 100 years ago, just not officially released. Whatever man, ghetto Kuu is all I need in my life. Frippers up! Frippers up! It's a little electronic, a little rock, and a little hip-hop, resulting in some real twerking action.

Summer Trip offers three awesome summer songs in three different genres, it's like a freakin' buffet. But as with all Kuu releases, they all just sound like shit that's been done before. You've seen people said this a thousand times, but there's no denying to it. While I enjoy the songs now I honestly don't know if her next album is anything to look forward to at all, but that's another post for another day. 

 

7/10

[CD Packaging] Koda Kumi - Summer Trip (CD+DVD) + JASMINE - HERO

I received a bunch of CDs while I was away for the few months so you've probably seen how the packagings look like already, but I'm gonna post them up anyway! Don't you like how the entire Summer Trip single just radiates tackiness already?

[New Release] Koda Kumi - Summer Trip

CD+DVD | CD Only

This summer is going to be giving me everything that I need in life. Well, over here in Singapore it's summer everyday, but you know what I mean. Summer Trip is appropriately titled - because gurl most defo needs to make a trip down to where wigs go to die. If not for the more-than-sufficient evidence of her having a vagina in the CD+DVD cover I would've sworn that was RuPaul. Other than that, I love everything else about the covers. That tacky ass font. That slight underboob. The fact that they photoshopped her thigh so much that it looks hilariously like a cooked chicken frank. That Kuu is showing ayumi hamasaki how she should've done her shitass Sunrise / Sunset ~LOVE is ALL~ covers.

[Album Review] Koda Kumi - Color the Cover

Koda Kumi steals ayumi hamasaki's Sparkle PV set for the cover 

I think Koda Cum-i's reason for titling her first ever cover album ETERNITY ~Love & Songs~ was because she covered the songs and completely transformed them to sound timeless - hence the use of "eternity". I'm just assuming though - she probably explained her own reason in one of the 9000 magazines she's featured on. This time, gurl ain't gon' do that shit anymore. This time, she covers a shitload more songs for Color the Cover, and this album is pretty much the aural equivalent to the entire color palette of her wig collection - SHITLOADS OF COLORS Y'ALL. Either that or she probably just forgot that she released ETERNITY.

[CD Packaging] Koda Kumi - Color the Cover (CD+DVD Limited Edition)

Got my copy of the CD+DVD limited edition of Koda Cum-i's Kuuler the Kuuuverrr.

The front and back comes in a matte finishing which is awesomeeee cuz I thought it'd be printed in those grainy thick recycled paper-like shit lmao

[New Release] Koda Kumi - Driving Hit's 5

Koda Kums loves to keep the party locking till the end of time, resulting in yet again another remix album that, let's face it, we all knew was coming out. And let's face it, we also knew that it was going to be misspelled as Hit's again. Iconic.

The cover art is, as always, awesome shizznit though. Kuu shows them bitches how to properly werk a close-up shot. Her Driving Hit's covers (except the first one) are enough to obliviate ayumi hamasaki's A BEST 3 covers, and that shit ain't even out yet. Due to "stellar" sales of the entire series, avex decided to pump in more budget for it to have an introduction of its own as well. Not only that, but also a best mega-mix shoved in the middle of the party. I wanted more songs off JAPONESQUE to be remixed for this though, and how many TAKE BACK remixes do we already have exactly?

Driving Hit's 5 will be released on 20 March 2013.

Tracklist

1. Introduction for DH5
2. Go to the top [DJAKi ASY Remix]
3. No Man's Land [4 Skips D'n'B Remix]
4. Ningyo-hime [N15H vs. HEAVENS WiRE D'n'B Remix] (人鱼姫)
5. real Emotion [KOZM(R) Remix]
6. Someday [Big Boy Remix]
7. show girl [DJ E-Man Big Show Remix]
8. TAKE BACK [E-Man "106" Remix]
9. "Driving Hit's Best" Mega Mix
1. Moon Crying [GTS SH Club Mix]
2. TABOO [HOUSE NATION Sunset In Ibiza Remix]
3. Cutie Honey [MITOMI TOKOTO Big Room Remix] (キューティーハニー)
4. Driving [GROOVE HACKER$ Remix]
5. Lady Go!
6. POP DIVA [HOUSE NATION Sunset In Ibiza Remix]
7. Teaser [Caramel Pod Dubstep Remix] feat. Clench&Blistah
8. Poppin' love cocktail [TeddyLoid Remix] feat. TEEDA
10. Shake Hip! [John Fontein (RE:LABEL(R)) Remix]
11. AT THE WEEKEND [Big Boy LA Weekend Remix]
12. Let's Party [KOZM(R) Remix]
13. Koishikute [Dirt $outh (RE:LABEL(R)) Remix] (恋しくて)
14. Alone [Prog5 Classic Remix]
15. One more time, One more chance [Shohei Matsumoto & Junichi Matsuda Remix]
16. Ai no Kotoba [AILI's Warmy Remix] (愛のことば)

Listen to Color the Original (I'm not sorry for the weak pun)

Since we are just one day shy away from the release of Koda Cum-i's second cover album which, despite shitloads of autotuning, will probably still sound better than BENI's discography combined, and given my lack of a soul these days, I decided to post up videos of all the original versions of the songs she'll be covering on Color the Cover! Now that is one shitass long sentence.

[Music Video] Koda Kumi - Lovely

I listened to the original version of the song at first. I heard the first minute of the song and I cringed. When I found out the whole song was 7 minutes long, I cringed even more. The very thought of the fact that Kuu will be covering this song knocked me out for a whole 10 minutes.

But after watching the music video, the song is actually tolerable! It's sort of like how Bambi was in Dejavu - it's a cutesy song but it's not an overkill. I can't say the same for the music video - now that's intolerable. I couldn't even get past 2 minutes. It's like that one recurring nightmare I had where Kuu's Wonderland PV just kept replaying. I was never the same person since then.

[New Release] Koda Kumi - Color the Cover

CD+DVD + Photobook
CD+DVD | CD

Koda Kums jumped onto the cover album bandwagon a tad too early. Now, she's back into it a tad too late as well. BENI is already happily counting her stacks of yen while Crystal Kay worships her on an altar with screenshots of the Oricon rankings of COVERS and COVERS 2.

But you know what they say, better late than never! At the end of the day, Koda Kums' ultimate aim is to always show basic bitches how shit goes down. You'd think she'd name the album "ETERNITY ~Love & Songs~ 2" but NOOOOO. This time, it's ~Color the Cover~ bitches. I love her so much. 

A lot of people actually slammed the CD Only cover as being too trashy, but when you have an album title like that, the trashier, the tackier, the better. The cover which I do not like is the limited edition one (which sadly is the version I preordered) because of her hideous hair but I can live with it. 

I'm looking forward to this release because Koda Kumi never fucks around - when she does covers, she does COVERS. ETERNITY ~Love & Songs~ was an excellent cover album because it sounded original, so I'm looking forward to her giving us fresh new perspectives to these old songs. 

Also, just a little trivia here. Kuu's birthday is on November 13. This year is her 13th anniversary. The year is 2013. That's why they decided to market this album as one to commemorate her 13th anniversary. Whoever thought of this ingenious idea, I hope you have done other things in your life worth caring about.

Color the Cover will be released on 20 February 2013.

CD Tracklist

1. Pink Spider (ピンク スパイダー) (Original: hide with Spread Beaver)
2. Shake Hip! (Original: Kome Kome CLUB)
3. Lovely (ラブリー) (Original: Ozawa Kenji)
4. Jounetsu (情热) (Original: UA)
5. One more time, One more chance (Original: Yamazaki Masayoshi)
6. Alone (Original: Okamoto Mayo)
7. Blue Velvet (Original: Kudou Shizuka)
8. "Otoko" (「男」) (Original: Kubou Ruriko)
9. Dou ni mo Tomaranai (どうにもとまらない) (Original: Yamamoto Linda)
10. Koyoi no Tsuki no You ni (今宵の月のように) (Original: Elephant Kashimashi)
11. Uta wa Waga Inochi (歌は我が命) (Original: Misora Hibari) (Bonus Track)

DVD Tracklist

1. Hatsu no Documentary Eizou (初のドキュメンタリー映像) (CD+DVD+Photobooklet Only)
2. Pink Spider (ピンク スパイダー) (MUSIC VIDEO ~Album Version~)
3. Lovely (ラブリー) (MUSIC VIDEO)
4. Shake Hip! (MUSIC VIDEO)
5. Lovely (ラブリー) (MAKING VIDEO)
6. Shake Hip! (MAKING VIDEO)

Thoughts on NHK's 63rd Kouhaku Utagassen

I apologise for this late post, but I didn't watch the whole of Kouhaku by the way so I'm only talking about the performers I care about. Then again you should know how biased this blog already is by now so here we go!

I was kinda hoping that the Red team would win for the second year in a row because Taylor Swift has an album called Red and that shit sold like an AKB48 release. But alas, the White team won, so that's probably because Taylor Swift's Red is overrated as hell.